Blogmas Day 13 – Sometimes It Is A Load Of Tinsel!

 

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Hey everyone

How is everyone doing? I hope you all are feeling ok and if you are not remember it is ok not to be ok. Well, the train has left the station, low cycle here I come. Ah well, it was good while it lasted I just hope the dark clouds will disappear by Christmas. I am starting to notice the higher my irritation is a warning sign of a cycle is on its way, so at least I have learned something and can grow from this, every cloud.

So blogmas day 13 is here, this is really flying by so guess the saying is true time flies when you are having fun. I really glad I decided to do this; I really love being so open with you all and being able to explore my creative side with my writing. So without further adieu ladies and gents, let’s get on with the show…

Blogmas Day 13 – Sometimes it is all a load of tinsel!

I think I have lost count of how many times I have said how Christmas can be stressful, but one more time for good luck, Christmas can be stressful! We can be so blinded by the fog of depression or anxiety or whatever mental illness you have and not see that the problem we are stressing over is a load of tinsel. I have found with my mental health issues that I make a small problem into big ones and big ones into small ones. It is human nature to sweep the tinsel under the rug.
So a tip for Christmas is to make sure you are not letting the stress of Christmas cloud your judgment, as remember tinsel happens. Tinsel can be something annoying or tinsel can be a situation you want to avoid and it can even be one of those moments you feel you have made a Christmas tree out of yourself.
So my advice for spotting the tinsel that you  could firstly write it down, sometimes by writing it down, you can access a situation a lot clearer. Secondly, speak to someone you trust, another person point of view can really be helpful. Thirdly, remember tinsel happens every now and then and it doesn’t divine who you are.

Until tomorrow people!
Take care all

Vixxy Rose

xxx

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Blogmas Day 12 – I Am Sorry But Santa Isn’t Real.

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Hey everyone

How is everyone doing? I hope you all are feeling ok and if you are not remember it is ok not to be ok. It’s official the snow days are over back to work tomorrow, ah well it was good while it lasted. I guess it is kind of reminds me of my bipolar cycles, sooner or later things will go back to normal. I must say I am usually a ball of excitement right about now, but this year I am really struggling to get into the Christmas spirit as much as I used too. Maybe it is down to my anxiety being a massive pain in the arse? Maybe it is down to the stress I have been going through? Maybe it is down to the fact I am growing up? Erm no, not that one.

Blogmas Day 12 is here, again thank you to you all for your support it has been an amazing journey so far and I hope you are enjoying it as much as I am. I am discovering writing these posts are really helping me concentrate on certain areas of my mental health that I don’t really take notice of. Well, it’s time for the main event of the evening…

Blogmas Day 12 – I’m sorry Santa isn’t real!

I am sorry to break it to you all but yes it is true Santa is not real. A jolly big man in a red suit is not going to come down your chimney and make your dreams come true. As heartbreaking as that sound doesn’t mean our dreams aren’t going to come true. It means why depend on someone else to make that possible.
This is your mental health journey, this is your choices and this is your recovery. Be your own Santa!
This Christmas is going to be hard for me this time last year I found out I was pregnant and lost the baby 3 days before Christmas also my family isn’t in a great position which means I won’t see much of them over the holidays. But you know what instead of being brought down from memories’ and flashbacks, I going to celebrate the things I have.
I am going to celebrate my first Christmas as a homeowner, I going to celebrate spending the holidays with the people I want around me. This Christmas is going to be me focusing on the small victories the present’s that a Santa can’t put under the Christmas tree.
My advice is not try on focus on the presents that people give you but the presents you can give yourself towards improving your mental health over Christmas.

 

Until tomorrow people!
Take care all

Vixxy rose
xxx

Blogmas Day 11 – Who ate all the mince pies… i did!

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Hey everyone

How is everyone doing? I hope you all are feeling ok and if you are not remember it is ok not to be ok. Because I live in the U.K when we get bad weather the country kind of stops. So because of the snow, I have been given today and tomorrow off work, which has been great I am not going to lie. Buying a house has been a stressful time and it has made my moods unpredictable and my anxiety out of control at times. With the extra few days off, I have had nearly a week off now in total and it has really helped me being able to focus on things I usually push aside and I know I shouldn’t.

Blogmas day 11!! Doing this blogmas has really made me want to post more and have a bit more of a proper structure with my blogging. So I am going to be looking at more structure next year, which means more interaction with you lovely lot. Well, ladies and gentleman let’s get this Christmas party started…

Blogmas Day 11 – Who ate all the mince pies… I did!

I haven’t mentioned before that I have got some serious food issues and I really am bad for just avoiding the issue and just keep going round in the vicious cycle.; Restrictions –> Binge Eating –> Guilt –> Restriction –> Binge Eating –> Guilt. One of my food issues is binge eating and around Christmas time it is even worse. This time of year things are even harder to control, with the added stress that Christmas can bring, the likely hood of me going off the rails is high. My binge eating can get me down more than my bipolar and anxiety, I just can’t seem to gain control of the situation.
The temptation with the cheaper food mixed with the Christmas stress and my anxiety it is a recipe for disaster. I need to try to have some will power but it is so hard? I can’t just eat a few Pringle’s I eat a whole tube, I can’t just eat 1 chocolate I eat enough to make me feel sick. So the warriors out there with food issues I salute you for the strength you show this time of year.

This is my biggest demon I have that I need to face, so I am going to try my best to follow these for dealing with binge eating for this time of year is:

• Importantly, no one is perfect
• Stay off the scales
• Recognize you are in the danger zone, and think of distraction techniques.
• Celebrate your victories no matter how small you think they are.

Until tomorrow people!
Take care all

Vixxy rose
xxx

Blogmas Day 10 – We Are All Snowflakes

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Hey everyone

How is everyone doing? I hope you all are feeling ok and if you are not remember it is ok not to be ok. I am having the best weekend! We are dealing with some snow here in parts of the U.K and I live in a part that has been hit quite hard. Snow days are the best, aren’t they? Especially when you find out your work is closed tomorrow and you are still going to get paid! Its days like this that bring out my inner child and my carefree side, as I have been out and had snowball fights and built a snowman. I can honestly say today has been one of the best days I have had in a long time with friends, cooking Sunday dinner together and playing in the snow I didn’t want today to end!

 

So enough about me, Blogmas day 10!! Eeek I really am finding this so much fun and I hope it is helping people as much as it is helping me. Everybody ready to get this Christmas party started…

Blogmas Day 10 – We are all Snowflakes!

Mental illness come in all shapes and sizes, it is not a one size fits all situation. I have found such support with the community on her and my other social media, but there is a downside. There is a little bit of a competition amongst some people, “I have it worse, no I have it worse”. Why can’t we just all support each other? I am me and you are you, don’t compare your recovery to others as I know things that other people do doesn’t work for me. I don’t have PTSD or schizophrenia but I don’t compare my condition to theirs how can I? I show understanding and always happy to offer advice but I don’t judge. There is enough negative stigma towards mental illness so please stop competing your conditions. We are snowflakes we are beautiful and unique and together we are stronger and a force to be reckoned with.

 

Until tomorrow people!
Take care all

Vixxy rose
xxx

BLOGMAS DAY 9 – Let’s All Get Christmas Crackers

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Hey everyone

How is everyone doing? I hope you all are feeling ok and if you are not remember it is ok not to be ok. Weekend oh how I love thee, even though I love my job I wish I could find one where it was acceptable to wear pajamas the whole time. I have gone through such a stressful time at the moment and I know understand the high anxiety. I was even twitching last night, which is something I haven’t done in a long time, I am following my steps and that is all I can do. Anxiety is going to happen I just have to remember that and work on it when it comes out under its rock.

Here we are BLOGMAS DAY 9! Are you bored of me yet? I know my blogmas is a little different to others, so thank you again for sticking with me. So shall we have another cheesy introduction? No, I cant do that to you, well not today anyway…

Blogmas Day 9 – The Christmas Crackers!

If you are unaware of what a Christmas cracker is:

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Today I was thinking about crackers, I love them they are one of my favorite cheesy Christmas traditions. You know what though, you can learn a lot from a cracker. We all know the concept of a Christmas cracker you don’t know if you are going to win or lose when you pull it and then you get a small bang and then you can win a price. This reminds of situations we are too anxious to do, we are so unsure whether it will be worth it or not. It is scary and that fear of the unknown is so powerful. When we battle through that bang of anxiety, we get the price of pride and another victory we can add to the list.
So my Christmas tip of the day is be a cracker! Chose something that you are too scared to do, it can be anything you want from going to get a Christmas present from the shops instead of internet shopping, going for a Christmas drink. Even if you try and don’t succeed, trying is still a victory! So let’s all be crackers this Christmas!

Until tomorrow people!
Take care all

Vixxy rose
xxx

BLOGMAS DAY 8 – The Christmas Candle

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Hey everyone

How is everyone doing? I hope you all are feeling ok and if you are not remember it is ok not to be ok. I am so tired of playing on the playground right now, the swings of moods one minute I am up and the next I am down and don’t get me started on the see-saw of anxiety. I just want to be and I find when I am like this I lose myself in the chaos that is my mind. But if I can live through this I can do anything, I may lose a battle now and then but I will win the war.

Blogmas day 8 is here if I am honest I really thought I would struggle to stick to this as I really am not the most organized person. So this is definitely helping me adding some structure to my life. Today’s blogmas post is one I was saving for a later time but I thought it is too important to save it for another day.

Blogmas day 8 – The Christmas Candle

The red candle was always my favorite candle it burnt brighter than all the others. Its flame always draws people in but kept them at a distance, not letting them close enough to see the flame was struggling to stay alight. So pretty and enchanting on the outside but that beauty held a secret….
The red candle had a flaw, a short wick and as the days went by the candle was running out of time and no one noticed. “Oh, what a lovely candle people would say” ignoring the smoke signals the candle was sending for help. Until one day the red candle didn’t light anymore, the red candle had burnt too bright and too fast and now was gone.
The red candle was clearly struggling but no one noticed, the red candle didn’t let people close enough to the flame to see it was broken.
The suicide rate around Christmas spikes, so many candles will be going out around the time of year. If you know someone is struggling or usually struggles this time of year just check on him or her, as that simple act of kindness can be a lifeline. If you are the one struggling to keep your flame a light please reach out to someone. As you are not alone!
Helplines and support groups – the UK
We know it can be difficult to pick up the phone, but reach out to somebody and let them know how you are feeling.
• Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.
• Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won’t show up on your phone bill.
• PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is a voluntary organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.
• Depression Alliance is a charity for people with depression. It doesn’t have a helpline but offers a wide range of useful resources and links to other relevant information.
• Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts.
• Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying.

 

Until tomorrow people!
Take care all

Vixxy rose

xxx

Blogmas Post 7 – Dear Santa…

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Hey everyone

How is everyone doing? I hope you all are feeling ok and if you are not remember it is ok not to be ok. You can’t beat days off can you, I am not doing what I originally planned to do but it has been a great time focusing on some well-needed self care. Isn’t it crazy when we take a step back and focus and ourselves how much we spend a lot of our time and energy on other people? When the bitch of anxiety pops her head in we are so consumed of what other people are thinking and feeling. When the dark cloud of depression interferes we are so focused on making sure other people can’t see it and aren’t getting rained on by the cloud.

 

Blogmas day 7!!! A week down of daily posts and you lovely lot are still around I am sooooooo pleased that you are all enjoying my ramblings about my crazy little things. So without further a due ladies and gentleman, it is time for the main effort of the evening (honestly I make myself cringe with this introductions but can’t help myself!).

Dear Santa…

I think the title explains itself really; today’s post is me writing a letter to Santa asking what I want for Christmas, but of course with a twist!

Dear Santa,

It’s been a long time, probably about 20 years! I know it is up to you to decide whether I have been naughty or nice but come on no one is nice all the time give us a break. I know for a fact there have been moments where I have said to myself “what a dickhead” for being not so nice. Remember Santa things are not black and white. So can we have a new list please, only human or shit happens list? Think about it. Obviously, there are things I would like especially since I have bought a new house. It is lovely to open presents on Christmas morning but would I give it up for a bit more stability with my mental health, hell to the yes. I could ask for the typical selfless things like peace on earth and solve world hunger, I know your magical but not that magical.
So how about what I talked about in previous posts instead of life giving me lemons to turn into lemonade how about some cake instead please or life stop fucking throwing things at me, a year off would be even better. Some of the sanity I have lost over the years would also be appreciated, I would like more moments of happy Vicky, please. Lastly courage, I am seriously lacking in this and I know it is something I need to build on myself but a helping hand would be great.

Short but sweet Santa!

Love

Vixxy Rose

P.S
If you can fit in a year sully of tea that would be amazing!!!

Until tomorrow people!
Take care all

Vixxy rose
xxx